I have the in-class part of my driving school today; it's 7 1/2 hours and starts at 9am. I don't really know why I'm awake right now, but, regardless, I still am.
Life is strange lately. I seem to be happy, sad, unhappy, angry, and whatever emotion can come to me. I don't know why. My mind just seems to be confused. I hate being single; it does, pathetically, make me feel more incomplete as a person. Feel free to laugh at that fact.
Sunday I went down to Hot Hot Heat, but got a call from my parents saying I was grounded because of my argument with my mother earlier that day. I kind of deserved it, I guess. Oh well. I hung out with Cayla while waiting for my bus. I feel weird around her. She's good looking and flirty, and I could get some action, but I seem to not be able to demoralize myself to a point where I can be with a girl just to get some action. We were flirting a lot that night, but I made sure not to at Warped Tour, because I know that I really don't want to do stuff with her when her personality doesn't at all appeal to me. How am I supposed to date when I start caring about things like personality? Heh.
Warped Tour was good. I hate jock rockers, though. They seem to get caught up in this image that punk shows are all about being violent, a jerk, and not respecting anyone. Sure, if they did this during punk bands, they'd be semi-correct, but getting punched in the nose during Thursday pissed me off. Speaking of which, Thursday were amazing. I can't wait until they come back in October. Badreligion, also, made me smile a lot. I was looking forward to them so much, and they made me happy except for the fact that it was too violent to get within 100 feet of the stage.
11,000 people at Warped Tour and we can barely manage 50 people at most shows. That just sucks.
Last night's show was fairly good, but I only stayed for 3 bands because of my lesson today. I liked most people I was with, but I was so easily irritated that I just couldn't stand a few people; most of which were girls. Yeah, Wishing Well played last night. They're now an emo band. The last time I heard them I was with Rachel(blech. Why did I do stuff with her?)and they were a punk band. Interesting how much they changed. They were great, nevertheless.
Why do I feel like I like girls when I have no chance with them? I'm too damn nervous of rejection to initiate anything or just say I like girls; and too damn nervous to not ruin things when girls do like me. It's strange. I can go into self-loathing about looks, but I'm pretty sure I'm not ugly; I can go into self-loathing about how I'm a jerk, but I'm really not a jerk to girls I like; I can even blame it on my last relationship screwing me up, but doing that passes the blame from myself to someone else, which is not a right thing for me to do.
Nneah. It's now 6:50, so I guess this explains why this is a little bit of a strange and weepy entry. In better news, I had a job interview at Tim Horton's yesterday, and I'll have another on Monday(hopefully). Plus, I'll have my license Tuesday(provided I pass the driving test), which is really good.